Seriously?
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: Sometimes some of Shepard's ideas to try and get the crew together are hopeless and ridiculous. And this is one of their 'Seriously' moments. Oneshot. Read. Review. Roadkill.


**Something written during school.**

**Don't worry long lost sister, I'm still working on the Kaidan challenge one.**

**A oneshot.**

**Read. Review. Roadkill.**

* * *

"No. Just…no." Shepard wasn't rejecting the idea, she just had no idea this place still existed, yet alone was on the Citadel.

"Honestly? That store STILL exists?" Kasumi shook her head, hood up as usual.

"I read about your human culture involving large corporations back in the 21st century, just an article or two I stumbled upon. I'm only vaguely surprised. This department store chain was quite popular back then. But still…" Garrus put a talon underneath his chin as if to be thinking deeply.

"Screw this. Let's just go find somewhere else to hang." Jack interjected, giving said place a glare.

"It took us hours to find this place. And I'm getting low on my personal anti-biotic stash. We should just go in." Tali decided to pipe in with her input, glancing around.

"I'm sorry but why am I here in the first place? This isn't exactly OUR jobs. Nor mine. I should be filing reports on our progress, not 'hanging out'." Miranda air quoted at the appropriate time, rolling her eyes slightly.

"Come on, it'll be fun. We're always going to Flux or the Dark Star. Time to mix it up a little. Whataya say?" Shepard nudged Samara, who was keeping silent the whole time.

"Huh. Well it would be interesting…but only if they sell ramen here." Kasumi was relenting a little, tilting her head.

"I heard they sell a large variety of supplies. I'm pretty sure they'd have this 'ramen' here. Maybe I can take a look at their maintenance area…" Garrus trailed off, imagining all the new ticker toys he'd get to have.

Finally, one of the more 'sensible' team members interrupted the annoying bickering.

"Look, I didn't get paid to stand around like some goddamn tree. Commander?"

Zaeed and the rest of the crew all looked over at her, awaiting her final decision. "Alright team…we're going in."

Shepard treated it like a mission. Everyone else treated it like some wild and ridiculous adventure that the Commander always drags them along on.

Miranda just sighed, crossing her arms and taking her place beside Jacob. Jack shrugged, eyeing the 'no shoes, no shirt' policy sign. Garrus and Tali remained at Shepard's side, both glancing at one another. The rest of the crew knew what was going through Shepard's mind at the moment.

Dramatic orchestra music.

Shepard took the first few steps, everyone following. She was about to enter the store right when Joker limped up to her and raised his hands, waving them around slightly. As if on command, the doors opened and Joker opened his eyes, clear surprise written all over his face. "Holy shit! I did it! Shepard, I used the force!"

"Joker…the doors are automatic." Shepard patted his shoulder sympathetically, rethinking her idea to have made her crew watch the Star Wars movies.

The entire crew was in awe of their surroundings, acting like as if they've never seen a place like this. Hawthorne, on the other hand, was still staring down at his holopad, typing away. Hadley and Matthews both gave each the nod and Hadley smacked away Hawthorne's holopad, which went skidding across the slick floor. "Hey!"

Shepard just chuckled, shaking her head at the three. "Alright crew. Go crazy." The team members slowly broke apart from their tight groups, all of them dispersing themselves in the aisles.

"I can't believe we're at Walmart." Joker stood beside her, watching the place with envious eyes and a wide grin.

Grunt came out of the animal aisle, something small and furry in his hands. A baby kitten.

Shepard only gaped, Grunt oblivious of the stare she was giving him. "Battlemaster. May we keep this…kitten? It shall become a great warrior under my command! And yours naturally." They had enough with Shepard's black cat that Garrus gave her, but another one?

The only thing that came to her mind and out her mouth was, "Seriously?"


End file.
